Randomness In a Box
by FeeptheNinja
Summary: There is a team of the greatest adventurers known to man. Well, kind of... not really... okay, screw this. They outright suck harder than a hole in the International Space Station, but are extremely funny, somehow. Enter the cast!  T cause I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

Randomness in a Box

By FeeptheNinja

Crossover, Kirby, Pokémon, Portal

Humor & Adventure

There is a team of the greatest adventurers known to man. Well, kind of... not really... okay, screw this. They outright suck harder than a hole in the International Space Station, but are extremely funny, somehow. Enter the cast!

PIKACHU: A Pikachu that is a complete idiot and VERY, VERY, annoying.

ORACION: A Darkrai that has some sense and is deathly afraid of the group's antics in general.

META KNIGHT: Do I even need say anything? He is the leader of the group, and a professional Pikachu stabber. You'll find out soon enough.

KIRBY: Is Kirby. Nuff' said.

Well, let's get on with it!

ACT 1

[on hill, wagon next to them, Pikachu, Kirby, Oracion in wagon, MK next to them.]

Meta Knight: No.

Pikachu: Why? Come on, we gotta go!

Meta Knight: I don't want to DIE today, thank you very much!

Pikachu: It's the only way down! I PROMISE not to run into hard stuff this time!

Meta Knight: Go eat a sandwich.

Kirby: [slaps MK]

Meta Knight: OW!

Pikachu: Get in. Even Oracion is going along with it!

Meta Knight: You tied him up in the back seat.

Pikachu: Minor detail.

Oracion: MMPPH! MMPH MMMPPH MEMPPH MMMPH!

Meta Knight: I think he said, "Help! I'm trapped in a wagon with a madman!"

Pikachu: Shaddup! Get in!

Meta Knight: You'll never take me alive!

3 ½ HOURS LATER

Pikachu: AND MOUNTAIN BEAVERS LIVE IN YOUR CLOSET!

Meta Knight: What the feep?

FeeptheNinja: HEY! I came up with that!

Everybody: AAAAA! IT'S THE AUTHOR!

Meta Knight: Okay, okay, I'll get in!

FeeptheNinja: Thank you. FEEEEEP! [randomly disappears wearing glasses and mustache]

Everybody: 0.o

ACT 2

[everybody is at bottom of hill, looking battered and bruised.]

Everybody: *groan*

Meta Knight: Pikachu?

Pikachu: Yes?

Meta Knight: My name is Meta Knight. You almost killed me again. Prepare to die.

Pikachu: Aw nuts! [runs off, tail between legs]

Meta Knight: GET BACK HERE, YOU ELECTRIC RAT! [runs after]

Kirby: [while untying Oracion] Poyo, poyo poy poyo poy!

Oracion: Tell me about it.

Meta Knight: [somewhere off-screen] RAWR!

Pikachu: HEELLPP! I AM BEING ATTACKED BY A PUFFBALL WITH AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM! HEY! THAT HU-OWWW!

Oracion, Kirby: *sweatdrop*

Oracion: Should we set up camp…?

Kirby: Poyo.

Oracion: 'Kay. Waitaminute.

Kirby: Poyo?

Oracion: Is all you ever say "Poyo"?

Kirby: Poyo.

Oracion: Wow. Poyish could be more useful than… than…

Kirby: Poyo?

Meta Knight: [off-screen] YAAHHH! [stabbing sound]

Pikachu: [also off-screen] OWWWW! HEEELLLPPP! NEED…Oran…berry…oww.

Oracion: Than sacred-electric-sword-proof armor for us!

Kirby: Poyo…?

Oracion: Oh, right. COMING, PIKACHU! I GOT AN ORAN BERRY RIGHT HERE!

Kirby: 0.o Poyo.

ACT 3

[all at campsite around campfire, MK glaring daggers at Pikachu]

Meta Knight: Wimp.

Pikachu: YOU STABBED ME IN THE STOMACH! **TWICE**!

Meta Knight: So? You didn't need to do… whatever… you… did…

Oracion: It's called a 'Pokémon Intimate Stress Signal', or PIS-

Meta Knight, Pikachu: *snickering*

Oracion: That's what it's called!

Meta Knight, Pikachu: *in outright hysterics*

Oracion: Stupid acronym. *IDEA* Hey, Kirby, do you want to hear my explan-

Kirby: *silently grinning*

Oracion: Never mind.

2 ½ HOURS LATER…

[everyone toasting marshmallows, Oracion reading newspaper.]

Oracion: Hey, here's a deal on a house… four bedrooms… three bathrooms… a wide screen TV...

Meta Knight: Sounds good. Wait, why are you looking at houses?

Oracion: I figured we'd need a base, you know, somewhere to operate off of.

Meta Knight: What about Wigglytuff Gui-

Pikachu: *screams* DON'T MENTION THE NAME OR YOU SHALL VIOLENTLY DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH OF JUSTIN BEIBER AND BARNEYNESS!

Oracion: I was thinking somewhere that doesn't steal from people.

Pikachu: #$%*! YOU CHATOT! DIE IN A HOLE!

Meta Knight: Uhhhh…

Oracion: He was traumatized.

Meta Knight: *sweatdrop*

Oracion: Who posted this house sale? 'FeeptheNinja'?

Meta Knight: …0.o

ACT 4

[everybody is settled into the house. Pikachu bursts in through the door, yelling, waving three cases]

Pikachu: OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!

Meta Knight: QUIT OMG-ING!

Pikachu: No. OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!

Meta Knight: WHAT IS IT?

Pikachu: I got Portal 2!

Meta Knight: 0.0

Pikachu: What?

Meta Knight: YOU GOT PORTAL 2? I LOVE PORTAL!

Pikachu: REALLY? ME TOO! I GOT 3 COPIES! ONE FOR X-BOX 360 AND TWO FOR PC!

Meta Knight: _**EPIC!**_

Oracion: WHAT ARE YOU YELLING ABOUT?

Meta Knight, Pikachu: PORTAL 2!

Pikachu: Wanna play with me? It's co-op.

Meta Knight: Sure! [sits in front of TV]

Pikachu: This is gonna be uber-epic.

Meta Knight: Heck yeah!

[4:00 am]

?: [in British accent] Well, maybe if you plug me in- right there- here, I'll turn on the lights- look for a switch labeled 'escape pod'…

Oracion: [Thinking] What the feep? There's no one British living here…!

Oracion: [runs-er, floats out] WHAT IS IT? WHO'S HERE?

[MK and Pikachu sitting in front of TV, piles of soda cans and candy around them, STILL playing Portal 2]

Pikachu: Oh, hi, Oracion. Why are you up this early- OH GOD IT'S GLaDOS! SHE'S BACK! EPIC!

Oracion: YOU TWO ARE STILL PLAYING PORTAL 2?

Meta Knight: Yep. [pops another soda]

Oracion: You're drinking Mountain Dew? And eating random candy? AT 4 IN THE MORNING?

Meta Knight, Pikachu: Yes.

Oracion: *sigh* Just turn it down. I am going back to bed. You two are scaring me.

Pikachu: Okay! See ya! [turns to Meta Knight] Hey, pass me a Mountain Dew, will ya?

Meta Knight: Sure. [grabs and passes a Mountain Dew to Pikachu]


	2. Chapter 2

ACT 6

[Meta Knight and Pikachu are lying on ground, Oracion over them]

Oracion: Hey, what happened to ACT 5?

Meta Knight: I don't know and I don't care.

Pikachu: Uggh… I have the worst stomachache in the WORLD.

Meta Knight: That makes two of us. I think I died.

Oracion: Okay, I'll get some Reviver seeds and a lesson in video-game binges.

Meta Knight: You don't have to rub it in…

Pikachu: …

Meta Knight: Pikachu? Feel free to chime in.

Pikachu: I can see the light…

Meta Knight: [groans] You are such a drama queen.

ACT 7

Meta Knight: Well, that was the shortest act ever.

Oracion: Well, nice to see you're not dead. By the way, marshmallow missile approaching.

Meta Knight: What? [turns around] AAAAAAA- *whumph*

Kirby: POYO!

Oracion: Ya think Kirby's just a tad too affectionate?

Meta Knight: [muffled, as if face down on the ground] Tell me about it. I think he broke my mask.

Pikachu: [walks in] NO WAY! I WANNA SEE HOW YOU REALLY LOOK!

Meta Knight: Over my dead body!

Pikachu: Do it or I'll tell Rojo what you told me. [NOTE: Rojo is a major character in John and Bob and MK's girlfriend.]

Meta Knight: … FINE! BUT YOU ARE SWORN TO SECRECY!

Pikachu, Oracion, Kirby: OKAY! [Kirby: POYO!]

ACT 8

[everyone around table, assorted foods on table]

Pikachu: Wow.

Oracion: Who knew?

Kirby: *annoyed* POYO!

Pikachu: Oh, right, eating. Hey, what's this random can doing here…?

Kirby: PPPOOOOYYYOOO! *launches himself at can*

Pikachu: OH MY GOD KIRBY ATTACK AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Kirby: *facedown on table, apparently… eating… the can?* NOM NOM NOMS…

Meta Knight: Kirby… that… looks… very wrong…

Pikachu, Oracion: WHY ARE YOU HUMPNG THE CAN?

FeeptheNinja: HEY! THAT'S GONNA HEIGHTEN OUR AGE RATING, ARC'DANGIT!

Everyone except Kirby who is now apparently… - a can… When did this go so wrong? : AAAAAAAA! THE AUTHOR!

Pikachu: Okay! Sorry! DON'T KILL MEEEEEEEE-

FeeptheNinja: Fine. Peace. *poofs out*

Pikachu: I lost my appetite.

Oracion: I concur. How about we play random DDR?

Everyone BUT Kirby… oh dear…: OKAY!

ACT 9

[everyone is in the living room, around T.V. which has DDR running on it]

Pikachu: WHOA! Great moves!

Meta Knight: [stepping off mat, having earned 138,938 points on Angel of Darkness] I had a lot of practice. Whad' you think the Star Warriors did in free time?

Pikachu: Actually, I-

Meta Knight: Don't EVEN finish that sentence! It was a metaphorical question!

Pikachu: Ha ha, 'Meta'phorical. Nice.

Meta Knight: Grrrr… Well, the scores are: Pikachu, performing to 'A Brighter Day' earned 99,749 points, Oracion, performing to 'Moonlight Shadow' earned 124,638 points, _without legs,_ and I, performing to 'Angel of Darkness' earned 138,938 points. So-

Kirby: [walks in, steps on DDR pad] Poyo.

Pikachu: Oh, you finished upping the age rating already?

Meta Knight: Shut it, Pikachu.

[Love Love Shine begins playing]

_I love you love you love you love sunshine _

_I love you love you love you love sunshine _

_Love sunshine_

_Love love love love lalala love shine yeah yeah yeah _

_Yeah!_

_Sun will shine_

_You look so happy under blue skies_

_It's such a lovely day _

_You're with me and I just melt away-ay_

_Love will call_

_And we can stay until the night falls_

_Floating in ecstasy_

_I keep on dreaming you can set me free_

_If you could give me just a little time_

_I could tell you how I really shine_

_I need the courage and the strength_

_And I will try_

_I want to tell you how good it could be_

_To live every day with you here by my side_

_I want you to treasure each moment with me _

_And let the love shine_

_Lalalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalalala la la la la_

_I love you love you love you love you love sunshine_

[everyone is watching dumbfounded as Kirby gets every dance step flawlessly, spinning and even breakdancing on the mat]

_I want to tell you how good it could be_

_To live every day in the lovely blue sky_

_I want you to capture each moment with me_

_And let the love shine_

_Lalalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalalala la la la la_

_I love you love you love you love you love sunshine_

_So make this true and not bittersweet_

_Just feel the power of magical dreams_

_When I'm with you _

_The love will always shine_

_So if I pray to God_

_To help keep me strong_

_I know he'll call before too long_

_And then you'll run to me _

_And we will make love shine_

_Just carry on _

_And you will make love shine_

_Love shine_

_Love shine_

[everyone is staring shocked at Kirby who jumps off the mat and returns to the kitchen]

Pikachu: HOLY GOOD ARCEUS HOW THE HECK DID HE DO THAT?

Oracion: HE GOT 9,999,999 POINTS?

Meta Knight: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

[all look at each other]

Pikachu, Oracion, Meta Knight, [simultaneously] He won.

ACT… 5? WAIT, WHAT?

[everyone is playing cards at table, Kirby is done… yeah.]

Oracion: Oh, _here's_ ACT 5.

Pikachu: Huh?

Oracion: … Never mind. Meta Knight, Got any 6 ½'s?

Meta Knight: Yes… 2. [slides cards over] Pikachu, WHERE'D you get this deck?

Pikachu: The Trick Master's Trick House. He's got a gift shop now. Kirby, Got any 3/17's?

Kirby: [shakes head…torso…body?] Poyo. Poyo poyo.

Pikachu: Urrgh. I suck at this game.

Meta Knight: I concur.

Pikachu: HEY!

Oracion: Hey, we got mail!

Pikachu, Meta Knight: WHAT?

Meta Knight: They must be desperate to hire Pikachu.

Pikachu: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. What did they say?

Oracion: HELP. I AM TRAPPED ON MOUnt- hey, what happened to the words?

FeeptheNinja: My caps lock jammed from all the yelling you four do.

Oracion: aaa… Okay, that joke is no longer funny. Plus, it isn't as forceful with a dead caps lock. Anyway, they said- Hey, Feep, you wanna join us? It would be pretty cool.

FeeptheNinja: Alright! But since Arya cannot draw me very well, I'll have to turn into… my ultra-alter ego!

Everyone: What?

FeeptheNinja: FFFEEEEEEPPP! [transforms into Minccino with one orange, one purple eye, wearing orange jumpsuit with Aperture logo on it, holding an I-pod Touch & Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device]

Random Minccino: Oh, good, my caps lock is working again. Thank Arceus for motor oil…

Everyone: What?

Random Minccino: This is my ultra-alter ego, RANDOM MINCCINO!

Pikachu: Why the Aperture junk?

Random Minccino: My part-time job. Anyway: TO ADVENTURE!

Pikachu, Meta Knight: YOU WORK AT APERTURE? EPIC!

Oracion: WAIT! You don't even know the job yet!

Random Minccino: Oh, explain it on the way! THE DEVICE HAS BEEN MODIFIED!

Meta Knight: I think she has a severe case of ADD.

Pikachu: I don't! HEY, WANNA RIDE IN THE WAGON?

Random Minccino: SURE! [running and dancing AT THE SAME TIME to IndigoKirbyMK1] YAAAYYY RANDOM JAPANESE GIBBERISH!

Oracion: Well, this will be interesting…. What are you doing, Meta Knight?

Meta Knight: I am packing aspirin, and you can't stop me.

Oracion: But 7 bottles?

Meta Knight: Yes. I am NOT looking forward to this.

Oracion: *sigh*


	3. Chapter 3

ACT 275… NEVER MIND. THE NEXT ACT.

Random Minccino: Lalalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalalala la la la la I love you love you love you love you love sunshine!

Oracion: You've been singing random songs for 4 HOURS! STOP OR I WILL SEDATE YOU!

Random Minccino: Okayyy… *pouts* ARE WE THERE YET, PIKACHU?

Pikachu: Not yet. Our destination _is_ halfway across the region. I would reckon we're a quarter of the way there.

Random Minccino: Uggh! I am SO bored! *idea* [pulls out laptop, headphone/microphone set]

Oracion: What are you doing?

Random Minccino: I'm gonna have a snappy comeback tournament with GLaDOS. Don't mind me.

Pikachu: Lucky dog- er, chinchilla Pokémon.

Random Minccino: We've all known that the cake was a lie since the 90's, GLaDOS. Do you not play Mario? Seriously, is Peach related to you?

Oracion: Meta Knight, can you pass me some aspirin?

1 HOUR LATER

Random Minccino: Hey, do you get internet here while driving?

Oracion: Yes. Why?

Random Minccino: I plan to annoy the hell out of Her by spamming Her e-mail with random pics and fanfics related to Portal.

Oracion: Hey, aren't we in a fanfic…?

Random Minccino: *gasps* You broke the fourth wall! [points to remains of random wall in space] Now I get to… [whispers to Oracion]

Oracion: oh god, spare me, please…

Random Minccino: [opens orange portal] Have fun 500 miles underground! [pushes Oracion through portal]

Pikachu: [after portal closes] That was what this needed! Now we can be nuts and the only thing stopping us is…

Meta Knight: *glares daggers at Random and Pikachu*

Pikachu: Yeah. Why didn't you push him through, too?

Random Minccino: I only got clearance for one… and that's game rules too.

Pikachu: Game rules? What game?

Random Minccino: Simple. If someone breaks the law of fanfic worlds, as stated in Paragraph 17, page 114 in The Laws of Fanfiction, you can do whatever you want to them.

Pikachu: Epicness. Hey, I want a word with GLaDOS…

Random Minccino: Uhh… 'Kay. [puts back in headphone/microphone set] Hey, GLaDOS? Someone wants to talk to you. …Uhh, more like second-biggest fan. Yes, second to me. Uhm, a Pikachu. Named Pikachu. Okay. [takes out headphone… well, the headset, and tosses to Pikachu] Here. I'll take over driving for you while you talk.

Pikachu: Cool. [puts on headset] Hey! Yeah, I wanted to ask something… is there a sign-up form for test subjects, or is it a walk in thing? Yes, I actually want to be a test subject. Of my own free will. Yes, I may be a little crazy. I'm a Pokémon. I control electricity primarily, but can do other elements too… Alright, is Friday okay? Great. I can do holiday weekends, any one. Memorial Day? Got it. Okay, see ya. [slips off headset] Alright, Random, here's your boss. I'm leavin' all Memorial Day weekend.

Meta Knight: THANK THE GREAT LORD ARCEUS!

Pikachu: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Again. Also, YOU'RE going too.

Meta Knight: … You actually think leaving Random in charge of caring for Kirby is a GOOD idea?

Pikachu: Sure, she's a good kid, she'll be fine!

Meta Knight: Oh god. I hope the house will be intact. At least.

ACT… UHH… UMMM… 11. YESSS! I DID IT! W0OT!

Meta Knight: That was a…weird…mission…

Pikachu: What are you talking about? Doritos Crash Course is awesome!

Meta Knight: Not so when you're hit by a mallet every two seconds. Oh, is it Memorial Day weekend already? Hmm. Well, we're out of here. Take good care of Kirby, Random!

Random Minccino: Oh. Right. [idea] Kirby, do you wanna go to the park?

Kirby: Poyo! Poyo poyo!

Random Minccino: Great! Let's go! Oh, and also bring me that bag…

ACT 12. YES, JUST ACT 12. NO CRAZY HIJINKS HERE FOLKS. WELL, MAYBE IN THE CHAPTER.

Random Minccino: Well, here we are. Hey, who are those people…?

[There are three people, two children and one adult. The adult is a young woman with purple hair and eyes. She has a one-dot blush under her eyes, much like Kirby's, and it's also purple. She's wearing a violet dress-like one-piece with lavender detail, and purple shoes. One of the children is a girl with orange hair and amber eyes, and a two-dot blush under her eyes, which is orange too. She's wearing another dress-like one-piece that's orange with tangerine detail, and orange shoes. The other child is a boy with short straight blonde hair, and golden eyes. He also has a two-dot blush under his eyes, and they're golden, too. He's wearing a gold shirt and blue jeans, with yellow sneakers. He and the young girl seem to be talking, with the girl asking about almost everything the boy is saying.]

Random Minccino: [walks up to the woman] Umm, hey. Who're you? I haven't seen you around here lately.

?: [looks confused for a second, then notices Random on the ground.] Oh, me? I'm… well, I'm not sure I should tell you.

Random Minccino: Ehm? What's up, turret got your tongue?

?: Wha- Wha'd you say?

Random Minccino: [clearly annoyed] Are you deaf too? I SAID, Turret got your tongue? You know, the pale spherical things full of bullets? They talk in cute voices, then try to dismember you with 60% more bullet, per bullet? Those turrets?

?: How do you know what a turret is?

Random Minccino: I work at Aperture Labs. Did you SEE the jumpsuit? Or are you deaf _and_ blind?

?: Oh! You come from Aperture? Great, then I can tell you guys. I'm Morality, and the two playing over there with your pink buddy are Space and Curiosity. We, uh, got kicked out by the other cores after the core-to-human transfer took.

Random Minccino: Ohhh, I heard about that! Sorry, I didn't recognize you. Then again, who else would have purple eyes?...

Morality: Yeah. *sighs* Soon the hotel we're staying at will kick us out. I don't have a job, so… we're screwed.

Random Minccino: Weell… We do have some space at our house right now… And Pikachu, Oracion, and Meta Knight won't be back for a few days. Would you like to stay at our house?

Morality: If it wouldn't be too much of a bother to you… Okay.

Random Minccino: Great!

ACT 17 ½. FAIL.

[Oracion, Meta Knight, and Pikachu stagger in, bleeding, bruised and burned, and are almost bowled over by Kirby]

Kirby: PPPPOOOOYYYYOOOO! [tackles MK, who falls over]

Meta Knight: [slowly, as if it hurts to talk] Kirby… hi… please… get…off…of…me…ow.

Random Minccino: *gasps* That bad? What did you _test?_

Pikachu: The… ninja… companion… cube… and… longer… fall… boots. I… tested…. ninja… companion… cube… and… tried… to… commit… suicide… 19 ½ … times… the… evil… little… *coughcough* [insert profanity here]…

Random Minccino: Oh my sweet Arceus, you guys need medical attention. Right this instant. [pauses] The ninja companion cube was that bad?

Meta Knight, Pikachu, Oracion: [in chorus] Yes…

Pikachu: [notices Morality] Who… the… heck… is… that…?

Random Minccino: I'll tell you later, when you're strong enough to put question marks directly after your questions.

Curiosity: Who are you guys?

Pikachu: Oh… god...

ACT Q. THAT WAS EVEN MORE FAIL.

Pikachu: Okay, so note to self- committing suicide in Aperture Labs is, in fact, impossible. Good to know.

Random Minccino: Oh, good, you're alive. I was getting worried.

Pikachu: _Really? _Then why didn't you think to TELL ME about the Ninja Companion Cube? Or Longer-Fall Boots? Or-

Random Minccino: I didn't know about those! Geez, it's not like She tells _me_ anything!

Pikachu: Fine!

Random Minccino: Fine!

Pikachu: Hmph!

Random Minccino: Hmph!


End file.
